The devils beatitudes

  • Blessed are they are too tired and too busy to go to Church on Sundays for they are my best workers.
  • Blessed are they that are bored with the ministers’ mannerisms and mistakes for they get nothing out of the sermon.
  • Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church for he is part of the problem instead of the solution.
  • Blessed are they who gossip for they cause strife and division that please me
  • Blessed are they who are easily offended for they soon get angry and quit.
  • Blessed are they who do not give their offering to carry on God’s work for they are good helpers.
  • Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister for he shall be with me forever.
  • Blessed are the troublemakers for they shall be called the children of the devil.
  • Blessed is he who has no time to pray for he shall be easily defeated.